Ah, Bonjour. Allo and welcome to the UK Games EXPO Banquet of gaming delights. Join us in our annual treat as we shamelessly steal from a far more talented and hilarious comedy skit and dutifully drain the last remaining vestiges of life out of it.
So without further ado, we shall begin.
Gaston if you would seat the ladies and gentlemen, please.
Those of you looking for a light bite then we can offer a fresh new take on a very traditional dish from last year. A zesty re-imagining using the stodgy leftovers of party word games Codenames was a palette blasting revelation. Well not to miss the opportunity to cash in on humpf gah! Sorry, I thought I spotted a hair in your salad. Taking an entirely fresh spin, we now have Codenames but with pictures ah yep, didn’t see that coming did you? Already our head chef is working on his 2017 dish Codenames with fewer pictures and a couple more words and the 2018 event Codenames 3 Electric Boogaloo. In Vlaada we trust.
CGE are also offering Adrenaline, a 1st person, resource management arena combat game, is it a Euro? I’m so confused, where’s the dice! With a mashup of desert dry mechanics yet an enticing theme, it’s precisely the sort of alchemy that CGE know how to harness to produce gold that a lesser hand would be left with a puddle of steaming ook. We shall see.
Guilds of London, OK this is top of my list for bringing back from the EXPO. Slow cooked and marinated over a couple of years including an aborted Essen release due to some complete and utter Twatbuzzards! We finally get our chance to savor Mr. Tony Boydells latest. Tony is a national treasure and Snowdonia his masterpiece may just be surpassed by this latest creation, I want’s it I do and here’s hoping all those years stuffed in his musty old shed have paid off.
Having lost interest entirely in attempting to attach food puns to the remainder of this article and resisting the urge to load up Hearthstone, I shall persevere.
Cthulu! Zman will be in attendance, and they’ll be showing off the new Reign of Cthulu its a sanity draining cover version of Pandemic swapping viruses and cubes for mini’s and madness. Whether this is truly a new game or a betentacled spin on a tried and tested formula… cough… cough Forbidden Island, Forbidden Desert, Pandemic 1,2,3 hurgh! sorry tentacle in the old throat, only time will tell. They are offering a raffle for a freshly minted copy of the game every evening of the show, so there’s a chance you could be one of the first in the wide, wide world of games to own it.
Another cheeky little release that they’re putting out is Beyond Baker Street a Sherlock Holmes themed kinda hidden deduction, case solving mash up. It borrows the Hanabi hidden card play style and mixes it up with a whiff of consulting detective, it’s a handsome looking thing, and it’s certainly one I’d like a nibble on.
Ice Cool looks just Vanilla Ice cool, while its aimed at the kiddywinks and families this dexterity game of flicking penguins all over the place has tickled my interest. As Catacombs is a firm favorite around here, we’re all about the dexterity and with its modular board/box design and weebles wobble but don’t fall down pieces I’m going to be all over this like the giant man child I am.
Dized those fiendish Finns Playmore games who stole my little gamer heart with their hugely enjoyable Race to the North Pole and its lazy susan mechanism last year are back! They have the finished Race for you to buy and the Dized app that they plan to revolutionize our hobby by retiring the rulebook forever, Remember people the revolution started here.
I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!!! Ooooh, a new game. Ever fancy yourself as a media mogul well you’ll going to get your chance jetting in from across the pond Gil Hova is bringing us the first look at his recent Kickstarter Success The Networks. Get to play as the owner of a television station and build it from its public access roots to a mighty multimedia conglomerate. I can’t wait as the movie Network is one of my favorites this theme flicks to all the right channels.
Grublin Games will be previewing their upcoming Kickstarter Perfect Crime, this is a tower defense style of game with all the smart little Grublin twists and enthralling whimsy of their earlier Waggle Dance. Players either take the part of Bankers wait… they have the task of building their bank and loading it with all manner of devious defenses guards and dead ends, then it’s the robbers turn to try to channel their inner Danny Ocean to pull off a daring robbery. Grublin has established themselves as the Cornish equivalent of the Days of Wonder think tank with their measured release structure and dedication to cool looking titles offering accessibility and fun this has all the makings of a splendid feast.
Ominoes Andrew Harmon returns with the ancient dice chucking ominoe flinging game of sneaky mischief it’s brilliant we reviewed it, and we’ve only grown to love it more since then. This one comes highly recommended, and I fully expect to see little clumps of Ominoe fanatics popping up all over the open gaming as the weekend ensues.
And that dear reader is just the tip of this, particularly icy berg. I didn’t mention the daily Orctions event or the seminars, Eric Lang is there again, Eric Panda Lang and we’re going to be chatting with him. St Tom Vassal of the Dice Tower with his eternally grumpy sidekick Sam will be taking their first venture onto these shores, the Shut Up & Sit Down crew have finally acknowledged the EXPO is now cool enough for them to sweep in and be far smarter and funnier than we could ever hope to be. There’s the bring and buy and its joyous bun fight over many grail like treasures and all of last years Works bargains and that Super Dungeon Explorer deal they had on Amazon.
There’s a gut-busting explosion of soggy goodness plastered everywhere you care to look, here’s a link to a sneak peek of the guide that will be available on the day of which I’ve contributed an article of naturally great insight.
Now stuff off I’m stuffed. Time to pack… Where’s me pants!